Jenny Mustard

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COLUMN : a day so horrible you just have to laugh at it

back in stockholm. everything went well in the end, but oh man was it a hard day coming back here. let me tell you about it.

we left sara and ian’s portland apartment at 10am yesterday. no actually thursday ! sorry, i’m very confused.
our flight was at 1pm, and once all the passengers had boarded we just sat and waited for the plane to lift. which it didn’t want to do. after hanging out getting bored for 45 mins, we were told that there was something wrong with the plane. after an additional 15 minutes they tell us to get off the plane. they need to repair something.

as we hurry off the plane (which always take forever right ?) we’re told that the new take-off time is 4pm, so 3 hours later than planned. we’ve got a connecting flight in amsterdam 20 minutes before we’re landing with this new flight time. great.

back at the airport we wait for like 5 minutes before they tell us that hey, actually the repair only took 5 mins instead of 3 hours, so we’re good to go.
the best thing that happened all day !
so we board again. people are frustrated and annoyed, a lot of them already too late to catch their connecting flights. it takes another 30 mins just to get on the plane again.

then we fly forever. land in amsterdam just in time for our next flight. and finally land in an ice cold stockholm at 1pm swedish time friday. a whole day just gone. it’s brutal flying this way. and for us, it’s the middle of the night.

we catch a bus. to catch the metro. to go to where our car is parked. with the heaviest bags ever. we take the car out to the summer house we’re borrowing for the next couple of weeks. and when i say summer house, i mean summer house.
it was already dark when we got out here at 4pm. and icy cold. indoors it was like 8 degrees celsius. and a couple of minus outdoors.

some fun surprises in the house :
the fridge and freezer had stopped working because of the cold temperature, so our frozen veggies were frozen no more, and the stuff we left in the fridge all had a nice fuzzy moldy layer. the smell was horrific.

a mouse had had a field day in our pantry. gnawing on almost every package of food, making us forced to throw out most of it. poop and sesame seeds spread out everywhere in a holy mess. thank you little mouse. thanks a lot.

although the house was cold, outdoors was colder – meaning that all them daddy long leg spiders had moved in. on the walls, in our clothes, creeping, crawling.

i tell david to lift the duvets off the beds to make them a bit warmer before sleep. david screams, almost having a heart attack as he removes the duvet from his bed. i come running to find the weirdest thing. like something out of the blair witch project. a perfect ring of black dots. what is that ? i come closer and realise that miss mouse has had some fun in david’s bed too. a perfect ring of poop. big like a grapefruit sort of. with pea in the middle. and she had gnawed on the sheet too, making sure some got onto the bed underneath. i’ve never seen anything like it, and i don’t think i ever will again either. at least i hope not.
thanks again little mouse. thanks a lot.

after replacing the bed linen, we try to sit down and relax. since we didn’t have any food at home, we heated the mushy, soggy, two day old sandwiches we had left over from the flight. covered them in mustard. sitting down in front of a film, still with our coats on in the cold, eagerly waiting for the electric kettle to make us some hot water for tea. close to tears with exhaustion and feeling generally uncomfortable and dirty, i don’t think i’ve ever looked forward this much to a calming cup of tea. i can hear the kettle starting to make comforting bubbly noises. soon soon !
and then.
everything goes pitch black.

yep, it’s a black out. no more comforting bubbly noises. no more light from the lamps. no more heat !

this is when we start to laugh. it’s gone too far now, we’re over it.
so we spend 30 mins with nothing but the lights from our iphones trying to figure out how to make the electricity come back.
we succeed !

and we have that cup of tea. a hot shower. it’s 6pm and we go to bed.
where i sleep 16 hours straight, without waking up. it’s a personal best.

i wake up and realise that this horrible day was actually two whole horrible days. it’s already mid-day saturday. what happened ?

luckily that’s over. and although the house is still ice cold, and spiders are everywhere, and it’s pitch black at 4 pm – it’s ok. because we’ve booked our trip to berlin !

10 days of this cold dark place, and then we’re out of here.

love // jenny

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