COLUMN : making good habits

i think we all find ourselves having trouble with this one from time to time – making good habits and sticking to them.
knowing what’s good for us yet not quite managing to keep it up. maybe our energy levels aren’t high enough, or mood not good enough, to lead the life we want to live. because we don’t feel like it, we don’t have time, we’re not in the mood, we’re too stressed out or tired.

at this time in life i’ve managed to get some really good habits going. like being on a healthy vegan diet. like not spending money on things i don’t need. like having a clean and simple home. like staying clear of junk food. like being able to focus. like not waisting time in front of crap tv. like being nicotine-free.
but there are also some areas where i’m still struggling a bit. like sticking to my exercise routine, and like having a way too overfilled schedule. so i’m working on it. and i’m getting better.

my perspective on making good habits all started with a discussion i had with my boyfriend one day a few years back when food shopping in london. we were standing in line to pay and started talking about how weird it is that we’re only getting food from about half of the aisles. the other half, with animal products, we’re just passing to get to our stuff. and it’s quite liberating. easy, quick, we never think twice about it. because we’ve made the decision to not eat animal products, and we’re sticking to it. we don’t have to make that decision every time we shop for food. it’s already been decided once and for all.

so that talk got me thinking a lot about my other good habits and which of them i find easy to keep and which i have more difficulties with. and for me, the habits that are results of making a clear and concious decision once and for all are the habits i don’t even think about anymore. to take the food shop example : i never ever miss eating meat. i never think about not having cheese at home. i’m more than satisfied with my fridge and i’ve never eaten tastier food.

i ask myself what i want all the time. what really matters to me and what i want my life to be like. and i make those decisions when i’m in a good mood, well rested, calm, and inspired. i don’t bite off more than i can realistically chew, and most importantly – i make sure that the decision is based on kindness and what i believe is good for me, not based on pushing myself too hard, controlling myself, or on society’s ideals. because although unrealistically big goals are very possible to reach through sheer self-control and a lot of determination, the energy to push myself will eventually drain out and i will feel miserable right back where i started. i’d much rather go with joyful and simple habits that actually save energy, to create a lifestyle that i can keep up for life.

the decisions i make are clear with no room for interpretation. i don’t fuzzily decide to work out more. i decide to work out at least 30 minutes after each work day. i don’t vaguely decide to eat less junk food. i decide to simply not buy junk food at all. clear and detailed. which means i can just leave it. i don’t have to give it another thought. i don’t ask myself if i’m really in the mood for a workout, or whether a bag of crisp would taste nice right about now. i just stick to the decision i’ve made and all of a sudden it’s become a habit.

because that’s the beauty of it, we’re all creatures of habit and the longer we stick to something the more it feels like a natural part of our lives. like a part of our personality even.

the thing is – although this might seem like a lot of work, my experience is that it’s quite the opposite. my life is simpler, much happier, and more energy preserving for each new habit i create. it makes it possible for me to relax and enjoy what i’m doing with a sense of certainty, instead of spending energy on the “on the one hand on the other hand” thoughts i used to have all the time when making everyday decisions on the spot. because basically i’ve hung out with myself long enough to know that i make better decisions when calm and happy than i ever do when stressed or tired. so i’ve decided to leave my happy self in charge of decision-making.

i think what i’m trying to say is this : we only get one shot. we should all make up our minds what it is that we truly want – and stop wasting ourselves on all that other stuff that doesn’t really matter. it’s just noise and i’m done listening.

love // jenny