COLUMN : the reasons we're a happy couple

me and david had a slow work day at home yesterday. we usually have 2 or 3 such days every week, and they’re my favourites. there’s no one else i love just hanging out with as much as david. we just fit. make sense.
yesterday, when we took a walk down to the sea, i started thinking about why that is.

except for the obvious ones – like us being attracted to each other, being loyal and putting each other first, and having the same sense of humor (well sort of) – here are a few reasons why we’re a happy couple.

we’re not scared of change
we’ve been together for almost 10 years now, since i was 20, meaning that we’ve sort of grown up together. so we’ve of course both changed a lot. to the better i’d say. to me it’s very important that the person you’re with is not holding you back, or scared of you changing or trying new things. it can be terrifying seeing the person you love sort of move in a new direction. but i guess it’s all about trust – do i believe that he will invite me into his new life ? if the answer is yes, there’s really nothing to be scared of is it ?

i also believe that this is how we keep the fire burning, keeping things interesting. to see someone having the courage to explore new sides of themselves is very attractive isn’t it ? it makes me curious and un-bored.

we’ve learned to fight properly
we fight. we get annoyed and stressed out. we can be nagging, grumpy, sad, irritated, and downright mad. we take out our bad moods and stresses on each other. even if you don’t want it to – it happens. we’re not a perfect couple. but still a happy one.
here’s why : we blow up, blow over, and enjoy nothing but clear skies the rest of the day.

as i see it, there are two reasons for this. first being that we respect each other enough to never get out of line and become truly mean. we don’t do name-callings, threats, ultimatums or go after each other’s sore spots. even when we’re fighting, i know that david isn’t out to hurt me. it’s just misunderstandings, stress, or something as simple as being hungry or tired.

the second reason is that we’re good at both apologising and forgiving. as quickly as we blow up, we blow over. and there’s no tension left, the air is clear. we trust that the other one has nothing but love for us, so it’s easy to move on.

we’ve got the same rhythm
that’s how a friend described her relationship and i just love that way of looking at it. i think this is more important than we might think – to dance to the same tune.

this could mean anything from what your dreams and hopes are, your views and philosophies, having the same sleep cycle, enjoying the same activities. how often you want to hang out with other people. getting inspired by the same things. what you enjoy eating. how much time you want to spend with each other. anything really.

the more you’re feeling the same beat, the easier things will be in my opinion. not that you can’t have a happy relationship with someone you’re completely different to, i certainly believe you can. but our every day life is just so much simpler because we’re similar. we very rarely disagree. when we do however, it freaks us out big time and we sort of panic a little ^^
our very first fight 10 years ago was actually because we realised we had a different opinion of pamela anderson. it weirded us out. i’m admitting that david was right on that one by the way.

those are three things i value immensely with our relationship. now i want to know, do you agree with me ?
are you, or have you been, in a relationship that was happy for other reasons ? what’s important to you ?

and i don’t just mean in romantic couple-type relationships, i’m curious about any kind of love really.

3 other stories of love :
how i met david
the 8 year engagement
my tummy – a love story

and like always kiddos, the most important love story in my opinion is the one you have with yourself. treat yourself good.

love // jenny

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